aloneness

Date: Sat, 08 Nov 1997 17:17:34 -0500
From: Leslie 
To: clburke@carolyn.org
Subject: aloneness

Carolyn,

This is Leslie, and I just read your last diary entry and you make me cry. Your pain is often the same as my pain. No one loves me. No one really did when I was little. My husband did a little, but was really incapable of loving deeply. I go through periods of intense, sreaming loneliness ( aloneness ). What it eventually comes down to for me is that I want a mother and I never really had one and no one can give me one now. Apparently I have to grieve that loss and as I greive, the pain will slowly get less. I am greiving and healing with the help of two wonderful therapists and my art and music andpoetry and my own journal writing. It is getting better. I have no answers for you. I probably can't give you what you need, but I am willing to share some of my journey with you if you want me to. At the very least I can tell that another shares a same kind of pain and maybe that will help you feel less alone.

Leslie

p.s. This is my favourite poem about loneliness (by e.e. cummings)

                    l(a

                    le
                    af
                    fa

                    ll

                    s)
                    one
                    l

                    iness

Thoughts on love and aloneness......................stop.thoughts.